A Little Love Never Hurt
by sybilsarmy
Summary: Derek never imagined his night ending with the woman he loved rolled in a rug and stuffed in the back seat of the car.
1. Chapter 1

After a month of courting, three weeks of official dating, a talk with Hotch and an introduction to his mother, Derek knew he couldn't wait much longer. At some point, he was going to have to put out before his sweet Penelope started having doubts about his desire for her.

Lack of desire, he suspected, would never be a problem in their relationship. The problem was that he wanted her too much, in that "I want to grow old and die with you" kind of way, and he wasn't sure how to handle that. It was big and scary, and despite his extensive in the bedroom, he was afraid all those messy emotions were going to interfere and he'd find a way to screw everything up. Now that he'd found the woman he wanted to spend his life with, it was vital that he get it all right. The last thing he wanted was for his panic and terror to keep his bow-chicka from bringing the mow-mow, leaving her disappointed and unwilling to come back for more.

His father once told him, "Derek, to be a man, you have to learn to face your fears." Of course, he was a gangly eight year old petrified of Antoine Jones pantsing him in the lunch line (again), but it was still solid advice that he'd relied on over the years. Deciding not to delay any longer lest he lose her anyway, he made plans to man up and face his most current fear on Friday.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: Pretty sure I forgot to attach one of these to the first chapter. If I say they belong to me, will I go to jail? Because money is kind of tight right now and I could sure use three squares and someone else paying the electric bill for a while. No? Just sued? In that case, they're totally not mine.

DISCLAIMER PART 2: Sorry - it's been years since I've written anything but procedure manuals. Hope it doesn't suck too badly!

Friday evening, thankfully, was finally here. Derek wasn't the only one grateful for it - since he'd been stumbling around like a clumsy teenager all week, everyone else was glad to get a break from him too. It was a good thing he hadn't needed to draw his gun all week. Between tromping on Reid's toes, closing JJ's hair in the file cabinet, and dropping more than one lunch in his lap he wasn't convinced that he wouldn't have shot himself in the foot. He decided, lest some innocent bystander get caught in the crossfire, on keeping their standing "movies at home" date instead of taking her out.

He got to her lair and, seeing that she was already shutting her babies down, quickly knocked to let her know he was there and called out, "Hey, sweet thang!" She turned, tired grin on her face, and pronounced herself to be uber ready to get out of there. "So, Hot Stuff," she asked, "what are we watching tonight?"

"Baby girl, tonight is all about you. If you want to spend the whole night watching that box set of the Snorks you think I don't know you got last week, it's okay with me - as long as you're in my arms while we watch them." She blushed, and bit her lip, but didn't say anything - so far so good. In their more private moments, he found her to be a lot quieter and calmer. Still unique, but without all the effort she put on for everyone else, and it pleased him to no end to be able to see her that unguarded. Derek squeezed her hand and lightly bumped her shoulder as he walked her the rest of the way to his car.

MGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGMGM

It was Penelope's week to host movie night, a condition he was sure she'd insisted on after they started dating and he got comfortable enough to relax his standards of home cleanliness. The closer they got to the purple palace, the more nervous he he got. It's not like he had to go through with it - he knew he could back out, and she wouldn't call him on it. He hadn't exactly told her he'd planned on finally Going There tonight. But no, Derek wasn't one to back down from even a self imposed challenge, and he needed to take charge and make something happen before she got her feelings hurt. Well, that and the fact that she was just hot and he was getting antsy about it!

He pulled into the parking lot, still lost in thought. It wasn't until he heard her door close that he snapped out of it. iNuts/i, he thought, iI should've done that./i. After grabbing his keys, he scurried to get ahead of her so that he could at least open the door for her. She shot him an amused look, "What's got you so distracted, love bug?"

Not entirely lying, he replied, "You, in that dress. Did you wear that just to watch me get all flustered, girl?" It really was one of his favorites on her. Red, shiny, and tighter than usual, with a low neck and a narrow skirt that emphasized her hips like a 50's pinup girl. This time there was no blushing, she knew exactly what she was doing when she chose the dress, and she was hoping he'd finally get on the same page. She knew he might like confident women, but he was also an alpha male and she didn't want to put him off by being the aggressor in the first real (she hoped) amorous encounter they were going to have. Lobbing hints at him, however, was perfectly acceptable and she was about to start attaching them to bricks if he didn't catch on pretty soon. With any other man she would have been worried by now, but not with her chocolate love muffin - contrary to the thoughts she didn't know Derek was harboring, she believed him when he said he loved her, and thought the delay was his effort at proving himself. Smiling brightly at him and winking, she asked, "Is it working?" The adjustment he didn't think she saw him make was all the answer she needed.

Derek got the door open and indicated that she should go ahead through. Somehow he got it closed and locked again without taking his eyes off of her ass - he wanted her so badly, but hadn't been this nervous since his first time. He couldn't help but hope that wasn't an indicator of how this was going to go, there'd been a lot of tears the first time. The girl cried, too.

"Derek, I'm going to go change. Do you want to get us something to drink?" He responded quickly to this one. "No! I mean, yes, I'll get us a drink, but no, please don't change. Can you leave the dress on for a while? I really, really like you in it. I'll start dinner too." She smirked at him, but agreed when he conceded to letting her take her shoes off. After all, he recognized that sore feet didn't provoke amorous behavior. Deciding on coffee since he didn't want alcohol to blur his memories of what was coming, nor did he want her to fall asleep as she sometimes tended to do when drinking, he set up the pot. After rooting through her freezer, pulling out the leftovers they'd frozen after their last dinner together and putting them in the oven to warm he joined her on the couch. Gently, he took her hand and coaxed her closer, whispering, "I'm going to kiss you now" when he was nearly close enough to taste her lip gloss. "Please, Derek," she said, pulling back slightly, "I want you so much". Framing her face with his hands, he kissed her lightly once more. "I know, baby. I want it too, but I want to take it slow. Ease into it. Build anticipation and make it perfect for you."

Without giving her a chance to respond, not that she could have if she'd wanted to, he jumped up and went to the kitchen. "Dinner first, baby doll. We're going to need the energy." So far, he felt like everything was going great. It was like she'd met him in the middle, known exactly what he was thinking and was iright there/i with him on it. Under his breath, he started humming a tune and pouring their coffee. The oven timer would be going off momentarily, and the only problem he could see was trying not to get too anxious during dinner and choking while scarfing down his food.

Of similar mind, Penelope decided to help things move along a little faster. Just as she stepped into the kitchen, intent on setting the table, Derek turned with a cup of coffee in both hands. There was no time to prevent the collision - the cup in his left hand connected with her cleavage, soaking her chest. She stifled a scream, but was clearly hurt. Derek was instantly overcome with guilt and panic. He couldn't believe he hurt her! It felt like a lifetime passed between the accident and his ability to act, but was just a few seconds. While she was still catching her breath, he reached forward, grabbing the neckline of the dress and the edges of her bra cups, and yanked. The dress ripped to her waist (which he would later lament) and her bra was destroyed, but the fabric was no longer touching the burn. Remembering what his mother used to do for burns, but knowing he couldn't stuff her in the kitchen sink, he swung her up in his arms and ran for the bathroom before she had a chance to protest.

Penelope was just catching her breath when he took it again, this time by settling her in the tub and turning the cold water on. The handheld sprayer wasn't working - she'd been meaning to ask him to take a look at it for her - so instead of a localized spray of cold water she was blasted full force. The shriek she'd been repressing since he walked into her finally burst forth. "Turn it OFF!" she screamed, then did it herself when he didn't move fast enough. "Jesus, Hot Stuff, if THAT'S how you usually get women naked, I think I understand why most of your women were one night stands!"

"I..Pen, baby...I...oh honey...I am so, so sorry!"

Taking in his bedraggled countenance - just how had he gotten nearly as wet as she was anyway? - she took pity on him. "Baby, it's okay - look, it's not that bad." She stood up, peeling what was left of her dress and bra off and instantly feeling warmer for it. "I've had worse sunburns. Honest. It's not even blistering, if it was bad it would have done that right away."

Instantly glomming onto the wrong point, Derek responded, "Worse sunburns? Woman, you KNOW with your fair skin you need to be careful. You could get cancer, what would I do without you?"

"Not the time, hot stuff. Look at me - I. Am. Fine. Cold, but fine!" As directed, Derek looked at her and discovered that she most certainly was as fine as she'd attested. The cold water was perking up the girls perfectly, and other than a little redness, the burn didn't look as bad as he'd feared. "Derek?"

"Hm?" He didn't look up. He wasn't able to.

"Kiss it and make it better?" After taking a moment to flash her his signature sexy grin, the one she was starting to wonder if she'd ever get to see, he ripped his shirt off and started doing exactly as she asked. It was only fair, after all. If asked under oath, she would never be able to explain how he got his pants off while his hands were touching her everywhere at the same time, but somehow he managed. He mumbled something she imagined was close to "better yet?", but this imaginary court case had better never come to fruition, because she was already too far gone to process much of anything.

Derek knew she was worked up. He might have been scared of HER, but he knew what to do about THIS. He had a signature move, and was sure it would leave his baby girl putty in his hands. While keeping her distracted with his lips, he gently moved his right hand to the left, and tucked his fingers under the waistband of her panties. Just as she threw her head back to groan in pleasure, he gave a mighty yank.

The underwear didn't rip. That'd never happened to him before. What DID happen was far more catastophic than a pair of destroyed panties. The yanking motion threw Penelope off balance, and both feet slipped out from under her. He was baffled - how could everything be happening in slow motion, yet not give him time to catch her? She pitched forward, falling over the edge of the tub and smacking head first against the sink. It crossed his mind as he dropped to his knees to check on her that the move had been effective, she certainly was putty now. Against his will, he let out a sharp bark of panicked laughter before snapping into action.

Getting her to the hospital needed to be first priority. She had a head injury, and he knew how dangerous those could be. There was no time to go through her things, to find her clothes, to try to dress her - they had to go NOW. Reaching under her limp body, he wrapped her in the bathroom rug, then reached up to the towel rack, blindly grabbing a shirt and pulling it on. If he'd been less panicked, he might have realized the shirt he pulled on was a little snug around the shoulders. Where was her first aid kit? He had no idea, but the bleeding needed to be stopped. The first thing he touched when he reached out was her discarded bra.

By the time he'd wrapped her bra around her bleeding head, Rambo-style, and pulled her into his arms she was starting to wake up. As expected, the protesting started immediately. "I'm fine, now put me down!"

"Baby, that is NOT happening. You have a head injury, and I'm taking you to the hospital. Shush." She knew there was no point in arguing with him, and her head hurt, and it was kind of his fault, so she laid her head on his shoulder and decided to go along for the ride. Her compliance scared him more than anything, prompting him to move even faster. After shoving his feet in his shoes, he stormed to the car, laid her as gently as possible across the back seat and hit the lights.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not sure how to move them up the request list I sent to TPTB, either, so when I DO get my hands on a few characters, I'm probably going to get Mulder and Scully first. Thinkgeek carries the T-shirt, Kellogg's makes the boxers (and I didn't know that until AFTER I wrote this, lol) and please don't take my cop-knocking personally, it's fiction :)

As often happens in the BAU, a wanton paperwork orgy took place Monday through Thursday, birthing a pile of new forms that Hotch had to deal with on Friday. That's why he was still in the office when the call came through.

"Hotchner," he said, even more professionally than he would during the day. Calls this late were guaranteed to be bad news.

"HELLO? Are you there? Who is this?" creaked the voice of a clearly elderly woman. Too stoic to cross his fingers in hopes that this was a wrong number, he did cross his toes. What no one saw couldn't hurt him, right?

"This is Aaron Hotchner. Can I help you?" Instantly, she replied, "WHAT? SPEAK UP, SON, I CAN'T HEAR YOU." This time he yelled his response back to her.

"Well, you don't have to yell, young man. I can HEAR you, you know. Aren't you Penelope's boyfriend?" If Hotch had been chewing, his response might have sounded more like, "Ghachhhhh", but he wasn't, so "No, I'm her boss" had to do.

"You aren't that big black man with the arms? Shame. I'd like to talk to him, if ya know what I mean. Anyway, you might wanna get over here. She gave me your number in case something happened, and the fire department was just here. Flighty kid took off and left her oven on, and the door was open, and her pockeebook was layin' on the couch. Fireman said someone was bleedin' in there, too."

Hotch, heart in his throat (hey, he couldn't abide the idea of dating her, but he didn't want her DEAD), thanked her and hung up before she had a chance to say anything else, then grabbed his keys and headed for Penelope's place.

MG X MG X MG X MG X MG X MG X MG X MORGAN AND GARCIA X MG X MG X MG X MG X MG X MG X MG

Derek, not having an adult criminal record and hoping for that to remain the case, decided to step on the gas to try to get his injured girlfriend to the hospital before she passed out again and left him to try to explain what happened. Oh, of course, he wanted her treated posthaste, and he'd never admit to that first private thought, but not saying it didn't make it less true.

That said, taken in the context of the rest of his night, he was entirely unsurprised when he heard sirens behind him. Were these idiots BLIND? He had his lights on, for crying out loud! Then again, it WAS the local PD - Baltimore City was the only place he'd ever been with denser cops than these. Making an executive decision, he opted to ignore them and keep heading for the hospital. He could deal with them there.

"Hot stuff, you should pull over," he heard coming from the back seat.

"No, babydoll, don't worry about it. They're not after us, just rest your head, okay?" As a sign of just how bad her headache was, she did. It was only moments later that he swung into the emergency lot at Potomac Hospital. Somewhere between her apartment and Opitz Blvd, he'd apparently turned into OJ Simpson - six police cars followed him into the lot. As he stepped out with his hands in the air, he simultaneously realized two things; he actually hadn't turned his lights on, and he was wearing Penelope's shirt. The one that said "OMG PWNIES", with two sparkly dancing ponies on the chest. With boots. And his Tony the Tiger boxers, with "THEY'RRRRE GRRRRREAT!" plastered across the ass. Maybe it was a good thing he knocked Penelope out before she saw those - he hadn't really considered laundry when planning tonight's seduction.

Before he had a chance to say anything, not that he would've had much luck getting a word in between "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM" and "DON'T MOVE!", Penelope stumbled out of the back seat. Her head was bleeding again. Two steps and the "Wha..." he assumed was going to end with "t's going on?", and she started dropping. Unwilling to let her hit the ground, he reached out and grabbed her, and was pretty proud of the fact that he'd managed to keep the rug from coming off while he was at it. At this point, he was fairly certain she was the only reason he wasn't being taken down in a hail of bullets, because he was screaming, "I'm FBI!" and they just weren't buying it. Hearing one of them scream for a hostage negotiator, he decided to run with it, or her, as the case may be. He backed he last few feet into the hospital and, once out from in front of the doors, he handed Penelope off to the first doctor he saw...who happened to have treated both of them multiple times, and knew exactly who they were.

"Agent Morgan, what the heck is going on here?" he asked. Derek just shook his head - what else could he do? - and asked for a phone and a room in a densely populated area of the hospital in hopes that it would reduce the chances that one of the cops would get trigger happy.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: Still not mine! Sorry for the massive delay...my life, much like poor fictional Derek, has been a giant cluster lately and Sybil has had no computer :( Also, thanks for all the reviews - how exciting! I wasn't really expecting anyone to notice! I'm going to be responding to those now.

Fortunately, or possibly unfortunately (he'd decide on Monday), the HRT was otherwise occupied with a real emergency and another qualified negotiator had to be located. It wound up, of course, being Rossi. Also inevitably, he showed up before Hotch could be reached, so was shocked when he found out who he was negotiating with.

"Morgan? Buddy, who are you holding hostage in there?" he asked, truly baffled. Morgan engaged in a certain level of badassery, but he'd really never seen something like THIS coming.

"Well," he responded, "technically, nobody. I'm here with Garcia, though." Before Rossi had a chance to ask him to explain, his cell rang. It was Hotch. A scant few moments later, more baffled that he was when he started, he returned to Morgan.

"Man, what...what did you DO? They found torn clothes, blood, and it looked like you tried to set the apartment on fire. If you'd asked, I'm sure she would've said yes, you know? We can find a way out of this, but you need to talk to me." This had to be a joke. Both men were sure they'd be waking up soon.

By the time Derek finished explaining what happened, and Rossi wiped the tears out of his eyes, updated Hotch (passing on Derek's "demands" for some clothes, pleaseandthankyou) and got rid of the cops, Penelope was in a room. Six stitches - it'd looked worse, but head wounds always do - and a mild concussion suggesting an overnight stay might be beneficial, but otherwise no worse for the wear. Rossi entered the hospital with the camera he'd taken from Captain Ho (first name Gung) as part of the bargain he'd made to keep his mouth shut and not make the PD look any worse than they already did, and went looking for his wayward colleagues.

MG X MG X MG X MG X GMJUSTTOSWITCHITUP X GM X GM X GM

Derek was pacing in front of Penelope's door when a flash of light stunned him, causing him to walk into the chair sitting outside her door. He realized what happened when the second flash captured the tiger on his ass as he tumbled over the chair and face planted.

"Jesus, kid," Rossi said, ostensibly helping him up but really laughing too hard to not make it worse, "I thought you were supposed to be smooth. Rossi 2.0, that's what they say in the admin pool. Looks like women have changed, 'cause these are NOT the moves that worked in my day, buddy."

Unable to formulate a verbal response to that, Derek drew himself up to his most intimidating (while pony and Tony clad) posture and flipped the most elegant and eloquent bird he'd ever flipped before losing what little bravado he had left and collapsing into the chair.

At this point, Rossi wasn't sure whether he should be laughing at him, crying with him, or trying to get him drunk. Penelope would know what to say to him, if he were with her. Just why wasn't he? "Morgan, I thought you'd be back there with Garcia. You said she wasn't hurt that badly, right? What'd she do, put you out?"

"No. Listen, I can't go in there. You go in there. Tell her...tell her...tell her I had to move to Idaho or something. I can't go in there. I've done enough damage for one night - she's never going to want to see me again"

Looking at his dejected colleague and stifling a rare moment of empathy he replied, "Bull. For one, you're already in the hospital. There's a doctor right down the hall if you screw up again, it's the safest place for you to be tonight. Besides, if our kitten really hates you, doesn't she deserve the chance to yell at you?" Playing on his sense of guilt was apparently the right thing to do, as he nodded and rose to head for the door. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. And Rossi? I can still kick your ass, you know. Those pictures aren't ever going to see the light of day." Unwilling to lie to a friend, he glossed past the order and reminded Derek his girl needed some attention.

MG X MG X MG X MG X GMJUSTTOSWITCHITUP X GM X GM X GM

Slinking around the entrance while holding up the wall, Derek entered Penelope's room as quietly as he could in hopes that she would be asleep. She wasn't, of course, but didn't realize he was there until he'd had a chance to observe her and call her attention. For some reason, he'd been expecting her head to be wrapped in a mile of cotton, wires and tubes from every orifice, but he was relieved to see nothing more than a precautionary IV and a couple of butterfly bandages. She appeared lost in thought, picking at her nail polish and staring at her hands.

He opened his mouth to say something to her, but it took two tries before anything came out. "Baby?"

She looked up at him and smiled, but he could see it didn't quite reach her eyes. His girl wasn't one for faking a smile - she didn't have to, she was always so genuine - and it bothered him. "Hey! You ARE here. I was beginning to wonder."

"Of course I'm here, sweetheart. I'm sorry I didn't come in as soon as you were settled, there was a lot going on out there."

"Yeah, I can imagine. Hot stuff, what the heck happened tonight? You usually aren't like that. I kind of felt...you know."

He didn't know, but clearly his fumbling shook her confidence. It didn't take a Reid to see that. Reaching for her hand while perching on the edge of the bed, he asked, "Felt what, baby girl?" She didn't make eye contact when she answered. "You know. Like maybe you'd changed your mind or something, and it was making you nervous."

"I'm sorry. Girl, I feel like such a heel - I wish I'd understood that before. You seemed so confident, I never realized you had doubts about my feelings. I would have done anything to make sure you got it."

"Hey,no - it's not your fault! I WAS confident, and I never had any doubts, at least not until tonight. I just figured, girls talk, you know? And we can be vicious, and if anything like this had ever happened with another woman I'm sure it would've gotten around, so I thought it was ME, maybe you didn't want -"

Unwilling to allow Penelope to babble, or doubt, any longer, Derek interrupted her with a kiss that was just to the left of chaste, and grabbed the free hand she was flailing around so he had both of her hands and all of her attention. "It WAS you, baby girl. All the others - it was process. Technique. Like a job - a fun one, but not one that mattered. You're the only one it's ever mattered with, doll. I love you."

Penelope's smile was a real one this time, all teeth and heart and shiny eyes. "I love you too, Derek!"

The only logical way to conclude a conversation like that was with a kiss. Rossi would be forever thankful that he'd taken a picture of that, too. After plastering the department with copies of the more incriminating shots, the framed copy he presented them with was the only thing that saved his bacon on Monday.


End file.
